Below are 5 tips to help make doing a divorce yourself go more smoothly when you have both agreed to end your marriage.

1. Communicate - While your marriage may be ending this should not close the lines of communication.  If you haven’t discussed the real reasons why you want a divorce or what expectations you have for after the divorce now is the time to talk about them.  This may be the most difficult task to undertake because it feels awkward or you fear hurting the feelings of your soon to be ex-spouse.  However, not communicating can cause more damage and create a stress filled and more expense divorce.

2. Be Honest -  Do not lie to get what you want or lie saying that you agree with something your spouse is offering if you do not agree with it.  This will only create harsh feelings which will stay with you but won’t bother your spouse.  You have been honest regarding wanting the divorce, be honest with your dealings in getting the divorce.

3. Discuss Finances Openly - If you argued a lot over money in your marriage, this is most likely going to be more difficult to do.  Write it down and write down what you want and how you want to split what you have.  Don’t talk out loud about it, especially if you always argued over these issues.  You might also find having a mediator will help you more calmly discuss your financial options when going through the divorce yourself process.  Debt, real and personal property, retirement funds, savings accounts and other financial items must be discussed.  Put all your financial cards on the table even if you don’t think you have a good hand. Now is not the time to bluff.

4. Express Your Feelings - Open and honest expression of your feelings goes a long to way keeping your emotions out of the divorce process.  You are not asking your soon to be ex-spouse to agree with or validate your feelings, only to allow you to express them.  You must  willing to do the same for you soon to be ex-spouse as well.  This will make you both feel much better and know that by allowing them move the divorce along more smoothly.

5. Leave Laughing - No I don’t mean a maniacal evil laugh, I mean  smiling, this wasn’t so bad laughter which will always ease the tension and melt away the stress.   This is much easier to do if you’ve followed the four suggestions above.

Doing a divorce yourself doesn’t have to be stressful and full of drama.  Following the above suggestions will aid you in keeping the divorce from turning into a drama filled process.

Divorce doesn’t have to create a toxic and hostile environment, unless you choose for it to be so.

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